Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Plan to Save the New York Times

As we all know, readership is down for newspapers across the country. I am sorry, let me correct that statement: HUMAN readership is down. However, I have returned from an unsanctioned fact finding tour of all the major American cities that are across the Mississippi River from another major American city in Minnesota, and I have found startling evidence that proves that cat readership of the New York Times is at its highest point in the history of keeping track of which newspaper cats read.

Here is indisputable photographic proof that cats who read newspapers choose the New York Times. Or, at least, that cats who choose to curl up on newspapers choose the New York Times. Or, at the very least, that this cat is on top of a section of the New York Times.

Groundbreaking, I know.


Anonymous said...

DeEr Man frend:

EyE am zo glade ewe notizd Eie lik thE tiMz. tRulY the Bezt fOur inTelEctUalE katZ lIk Miselv. I engOyd eur vizt a lot-thAnke MrZ LeCheROe fOr th WaTchBand Toyee-- it haz beene hourz of funn. whEn eyewe cum bak pleze don brEng tHat dawG ov eyurz, I lik ThE atencsion. CaN i catche birdz wit ewe nexz tim tOo? ewe an EyE botHe lik BiRdz. Do Ewe EaTe them? Yummm.

--Yur Frend, FrAnK

ATR said...

Dear Frank--

Work on your spelling and typing. It was a pleasure to see you, but I am not taking you birding with me. I think we would be at cross purposes.

Your friend (who will never touch you),
El Lechero

Anonymous said...

Hye MaN FrEnd:

Eie Am aLrit wiT u NoT sKraTcHing Me BeEcuz Eur WifE doeZ. ShE LiKz Me a LoT, EyE Kan tel.

IF wEE go BurDin 2geThr Ewe KaN tak PicturZ tHeN I weEl Do Mi ParT. YoU firszt, SeE? We Wood BotHe WIn!

My PeOpl Mizz ewe. WHeN EwE an MrZ LeChErRo CuM Bak?

MiE sPelLing is GRAtE foR KATZ By Th Wae. I wEeL LeT EwE TuTr ME on It iFv EwE com Bak. K?

--Yur Pal, FrAnk

ATR said...

Dear Frank--

Have some self-respect. You nap on the NY Times for Pete's sake--LEARN HOW TO SPELL. Do not fall into that mediocre trap of thinking, "Well, I spell okay for a cat." You are better than that. Really.

Please tell your people that we miss them, too. Also, tell them that we look forward to seeing them soon. Lastly, please tell your man, thanks for the comedy bits he sent via the electronic mail.

Oh, and, no, I am still not taking you birding with me.

Sorry, bud.

I remain

Your friend,
El Lechero

La Fashionista said...

Uncle Tony of them, I can spell just fine but I ain't never seen no pic of little me on your blog. What is your deal of them? And did you ever stop lying on your cat allergy meds and actually eat them?

I miss you all the time and wonder if you still miss me like crazy?

Jammy Princess

ATR said...

Jammy Princess (of them)--

I have heard that you have been a very naughty cat. Please stop. It is unbecoming of a feline as well-bred and stylish as yourself. Please use a better forum to air your grievances and petty jealousies, such as Facebook or a blog.

Also, the "laying in" refers to stocking up, as opposed to "lying in," which is of course okay if it's a pool, but not too pleasant, I imagine, if it's just dusty allergy meds.

I hope that clears up any confusion about my activities over the last fortnight, and, I promise, if your Mommy (of them) will shoot me a digipic over the Internets, I will post a picture of you. But don't go telling every cat you know...I don't want this to become some kind of cat fancy blog.

Anonymous said...

hEy, I thenk I wOOd LiK to MeEte thiz JamMee PriNceZs... do Sen Som Picz.


pS: iZ thE rUmOuR trU shE PeeZ on BeDz? KOOL!!!