Cashed Checks and Imperfect Balances

Should we talk about the weather?

Should we talk about the government?

--REM, “Pop Song 89”

The sweltering of the plains has begun in earnest for the summer. Saturday was steamy hot--which did not preclude us from several beverages out on some friends’ deck; yesterday was slightly more brutal (except we are not sure just how brutal, since, according to the paper this morning, an equipment malfunction made it impossible to read the temperature and humidity…they couldn’t run to the nearest bank to read the sign out front?)—which did not preclude us from mowing the lawn and doing a bit of yard work in the AM; today portends to be more of the same. I planned on a fishing excursion to a nearby lake this morning, but the forecast, along with the fact that I stayed up late watching the rebroadcast of the US Women’s World Cup rousing victory over Brazil, convinced me to stay in this morning. I plan on taking the fishing trip tomorrow. The weather will most likely remain, but I will have had a bit more sleep.

In other news, I have been thinking lately about the current difficulties that we are in as a nation, specifically, that slippery eel that is the economy, which is sluggish to say the least. Here in Nebraska, we have been pretty lucky compared to many other places, but things are still far from perfect. The mayor proposed last week a hike in property taxes and wheel taxes, in order to raise revenue for roadwork and other operating costs. That still apparently will not save the jobs of some city workers.

I don’t mind paying a bit more to keep things running smoothly, to have parks and street lights, paved roads and a fire department. It is worth the extra fifty bucks a year (or so) it will cost us to maintain those services that I find important for my quality of life. And that money is collected and used by the city that I live in. Every day I can see my taxes being necessary when there is a pot-holed road, a broken water main, a darkened street lamp, or an overgrown park field.

On the federal level, however, things are a bit more complicated. I don’t see the money I send to Washington being directly spent…except on things like war, war, and war. Oh, right, we did give all those banks and car companies all that money…and we gave all those folks cash for their push-pull-drag-or-drive clunkers, so I know that money was well spent. But, it appears that the Feds are in a tougher spot than my town is. The deficit rises; revenues are stagnant. Current natural disasters will cost billions; expensive military actions are still being waged on multiple fronts. The promised jobs created by the wealthy are not materializing; some corporations are not paying any taxes. And Congress and the president can’t seem to see eye to eye on any solution.

And here is where our wonderfully balanced form of government is perhaps making things worse when it should be making things better. For, while the Senate has a Democrat majority, which (one would think) would cooperate with a president from its own party, the House is GOP-controlled. And, do you think that maybe the House majority might feel that they have an interest in keeping the economy in the tank until 2012? Wouldn't that be better for their party?

Am I a conspiracy theorist? No. Do I understand politics? Yes, I do. In that respect—the “I understand the gamesmanship of the political arena” respect—I completely understand why the House might be doing what I think it’s doing. But, I don’t like it. But, I am not going to start lobbing “evil Republican” bombs around. I am not going to point some naïve finger and say, “Hey, you red state bozos, quit holding this country hostage and fix the problem.” Nope. I am not going to do that. Because I know a few things: I know that the situation we find ourselves in is the end result of many years of (and both parties’) myopia, avarice, and lack of wisdom. I know that, were the situation reversed, the Dems would do the same thing ( not as effectively…probably more like ineffectively). I know that, most likely, even if the two sides come to a compromise, it will be, like most compromises, well, compromised, and any policy they agree upon will sound great in the paper, but will generally be toothless, useless, and maybe even more detrimental than helpful.

That does not mean I am not fired up at yet another example of party politics taking precedence over the common good. But, what do we do? We do what we always do. We pay our taxes, we try to keep calm, we carry on, we pick cucumbers, we keep the lawn trimmed, we open a beverage, we fill up the kiddie pool, and we hope that the weather breaks soon.

So it goes….

The Late Night Wars

I am not a consistent watcher of late night TV. I am usually in bed by the time the late local news comes on, and if I do stay up to watch something on past 10pm, I am probably watching a sporting event or The Daily Show (and that not often). I used to be a Letterman devotee, back in the twentieth century, and I never liked Leno or Conan that much. Well, truth be told, I can stomach Conan in small bits, but I can't stand Leno. I don't know what it is about him, perhaps his too chummy persona or the fact that he kind of climbed over Letterman to get the Tonight Show job, but I have never liked him much.

So, I haven't really spent too much thought on the latest brouhaha involving Leno and his move back to his old time slot. It was a big story in the NY Times this morning. I read the story online, and was surprised to really find out what NBC seems to be doing to O'Brien. It seems like a pretty dirty deal, and Conan is not taking it lying down.

One more reason to dislike Leno: he's being treated somehow special by his employers. Maybe that is in their best economic interest, but it is still a poor way to treat another of their employees, namely Conan O'Brien. As a result, Conan grows in my estimation. Like Letterman when he was at his best, Conan is pissed off at his bosses and he doesn't seem to mind venting in front of his studio audience. Letterman was always hilarious when he was taking his network and their parent company down a peg. Okay, he was hilarious almost all the time, a while back, but that was a looooong while back, when I was still a junior...in HIGH SCHOOL (when we used to while away the lectures in chemistry by passing around silly, homemade Top Ten lists), but, I digress.

Which reminds me: have you seen that FedEx commercial where the boss takes Carl, the employee, on a presentation with him because somebody told the boss Carl was their "best presentation guy?" Come to find out, Carl was good at putting together the visuals for presentations, not giving the presentations. He sits there beside the boss, with a mustache and greasy, stringy gray hair. He stands up in his corduroy jacket, raises his hands and says to the clients, "Good morning...but, I digress." A hoot. You can see where that thought came from.

Anyway, to sum up: Leno still sucks. Conan getting snarky. Letterman sitting back and watching the fur fly. This boy still going to bed at 10pm.

Sports Conspiracy Theories

According to ESPN, Patriots (I hatriot the Patriots) quarterback Tom Brady will undergo season-ending surgery after a low tackle by Kansas City's Bernard Pollard tore Brady's knee ligaments in the early going of Sunday's game in Foxboro. This is bad news for Patriots (I hatriot the Patriots) fans. But, hope is still alive.

Before I continue, a disclaimer: if you haven't figured it out yet, I am NOT a fan of the New England Patriots. I have loathed them since Steve Grogan retired. After that, they provoked my further ire when they changed their uniforms from the AFL beauty of red, white, and blue to the current (and inexplicable) blue, red, SILVER, and white. What is that, some nod to Paul Revere (he was a silversmith)? At the same time, they ditched the straightforward, totally bad-ass Pat Patriot logo on the side of their white helmets for the "modern," streaking colonial head on the sparkly SILVER (again!) helmet. Unbelievable.

Granted, having never lived anywhere near New England, I was never a huge fan of the Pats, but, after they defiled what I thought was one of the more classic uniforms of the former AFL, my attitude turned to one of outright loathing. And then, along came Tom Brady.

A great quarterback? No doubt, but his pretty boy looks, his reincarnation-of-Broadway-Joe-Namath lifestyle, his willy-nilly impregnation of super models, and his employment by the Patriots all add up to my negative attitude toward him.

That being said, I wish him no ill will. I am sorry to see any athlete get injured. Well, except Albert Belle, but that's a story for a different time. However, I don't think we have to worry a whit, or shed one tear for Golden Tom or his SILVER (I still don't get it) Patriots. For Bill "Snidely Whiplash" Belichick clearly has an ace up his sleeve.

His announcement that Brady is done for the year rings untrue to me. After all, this guy is known to put his whole team in the "Questionable" column of the required weekly injury report. Add to that some potential cheating here and there, and I smell a conspiracy.

At halftime of this Sunday's game, with the Brett Favre-led J-E-T-S JETSJETSJETS! (and we won't even begin to address that circus) up on the SILVER (why?) Patriots 17-3, Brady will jog onto the field and eventually lead his team to a rousing victory with a last second forty-yard pass to Randy Moss. The media will go wild! Front-runners everywhere will rejoice at the return of the cover-model quarterback! And Belichick and the rest of his loathsome SILVER (I'm shrugging over here)-clad minions will snigger in their locker room, as they show the world once again that they are calling the shots.

Mark my words, man. It's gonna happen.

When Not to Vote

Today is Primary Election Day, here in Nebrasky. And, for the first time in a long while, I am not heading to a polling place on a voting Tuesday.

Why, you might ask? Well...

Beside the presidential race (the results of which, here in Nebraska, have no bearing on the delegate count--really, they decided that at the Caucus in February), we have a state senate race and a US Senate race going on, and, after less than a year here in this place, I have no idea who to vote for. I have some suspicions, but I feel woefully uninformed (even with reading a newspaper everyday). I hope to correct that by the time the General Elections roll around.

In adittion, there are a couple of ballot initiatives out there, but I don't know for sure what they are. I don't really know how I can be this unaware of what is going on, except to blame it all on a state-wide media conspiracy to keep the citizenry of Nebraska ignorant of the issues and the candidates stance on said issues. Not only does this theory put me in tight with the Left wing radicals that I try to befriend (Hippies!), it also alleviates me of any responsibility whatsoever.

Then again, maybe it's just stone cold apathy.