Come Back to the Five and Ten, Joe Biden, Joe Biden

Looking through the Media Center's most recent copy of Education Week this morning, I came across a picture of Senator Joe Biden (D-Del.) addressing a crowd gathered to celebrate a Sports Illustrated campaign that is donating money to programs that educate young athletes about the dangers of steroid use. In the picture, Sen. Biden is wearing an obviously expensive dark suit, a red silk tie, and a sky blue shirt with French cuffs. This is not the first time I have seen a senator wearing French cuffs, but the picture reminded me of how much I dislike senators wearing French cuffs.

[Or should I call them Liberty cuffs? It seems pretty unpatriotic to wear such cuffs (French), considering our attitude toward France (we still hate them, right?).]

Senators work for the American people (so I've been told). They represent the American people (in theory). They are supposed to be of, for, and by the American people (kind of). Well, my people don't wear French cuffs! They wear regular, good old American cuffs! My people think I am putting on airs when I wear a Chinese tie to work. My people have proud holes in their American underwear and honest, thin soles on their American shoes. Even when they get dressed up for weddings (hell, even when they are getting married), my people do not wear French cuffs! (Okay, Monkey has one shirt with French cuffs--but everyone knows that when she wears it, she is just showing off.)

It simply fires me up to see these well-off, very-out-of-touch senators (and I LIKE Joe Biden) wearing foreign clothes that cost more money than I make in a month. Even if senators are making six figures, even if they are getting greased by multinational corporations and special interest lobbyists, even if they are living max large on the backs of America's growing population of poor and nearly poor (which is the same as almost being poor), they do not have to flaunt it in front of God and everybody. Stop wearing French cuffs, senators! Go to Penney's (Penney's is an American company, right? They don't control our ports or anything.), buy a $200 suit, a $15 tie, and a $20 shirt (which, even if they are made in Ecuador, Taiwan, and Indonesia, aren't French, at least). Use the left over money to feed some hungry people (or buy some coke, or hire some hookers, or whatever you do for fun). You'll look just as good, and I'll respect you more for being subtle about your back-door-under-the-table-exploiting-your-position-offshore-account-Swiss-banking-three-houses-yacht-owning-millionaire-handout-capital-gains-tax-break-hot-stock-tip-Kenneth-Lay-is-my-hero-stick-it-to-the-little-guy money making.

For evidence of Senator Joe's addiction to le cuffs francaise, and some really not very funny (and dated) captions, check out http://www.thehollywoodliberal.com/177.htm.