Sunday, January 29, 2006

New! Improved? (Subversive Suggestions, Too)

Observant readers of Central Standard (yes, all three of you) will notice that I have added a new sidebar feature to this page. I have included a list of the most frequently occuring characters. I was often fielding comments like, "I can't keep track of all the names." My first reaction to this was, "Huh?" Have you ever read a book before? There are a lot of names in One Fish, Two Fish. Did you complain to Dr. Seuss about that?

After I thought about it a bit more, I guess a list of folks is not too much to ask for someone who isn't actually living my life. I mean, after all, I am making up the names, so it's usually easy for me to keep track of folks' IDs. I do ask that you try to keep the relationships between the characters straight on your own (Aunt James and Uncle Joe go together (they live with Ms. London Belle--the second cutest dog in the world), I work with Coach B and the Reverend Wayne Coomers and Capt. "Darts" Morgan and Aunt James, Queen of Spades and Suh-weet went to Notre Dame (okay, that's not important)). I hope those confused readers are aided by the new list. As a word of warning to you: DO NOT READ WAR AND PEACE!

I was not feeling well last night, so I did not see Uncle Joe's mad bass playing skills on display. I was asleep before 9pm! I feel much better today, thank you. I think I had too much pizza the past couple of days.

At any rate, I got up at regular weekday time this morning (5am). No alarm was set or anything; I guess I had slept enough. I took a drive down to McBaine, but it is quite windy today. Not much was out on the water. So, I came home and read the paper. Looked for some good news, but didn't find much. Garrison Keillor wrote an interesting review of a book by Andre Levy. Levy is a Frenchman who travelled around the US doing a series of stories for The Atlantic, last year. He put the columns all together in a book that basically is a modern retelling of de Tocqueville's 18th century treatise on America. Anyway, Keillor's review is a hoot. He takes the Frenchman to task over many aspects of his book. Give it a read if you have a minute. I am sure it is on the NY Times website. Whatever you think about Keillor's cultural attitudes, I think he hits the nail on the head here. I read some of Levy's articles in The Atlantic, and, well, Keillor's right. They didn't reveal anything to me.

The newspaper did spark one idea (at least) this morning. And I am asking all to join me. In the event that the Federal Government does win the brouhaha with Google over the "Google search" search warrant, and in the event that the G-men seize any records other than the week's worth that they claim to be interested in, would everyone please go to Google and search the following phrase: "What the hell are you looking for, bee-yatch?" I think that would be fun.

I'll be taking the laundry out of the dryer, now. Talk at you soon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Who is this character you refer to as "Dr. Seuss" and what the hell kind of crazy nickname is that? I tell you, I just can't keep up with all your friends.

And who the eff is ATR?

Why yes, I do complain often. And adamantly. Loudly too.

Do I get a too-cool-for-school nickname when I come to CoMo?