Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Gorillas Evade Census Takers, But Monkeys Are Not So Lucky

Somehow, 125,000 western lowland gorillas evaded census takers for the International Union for Conservation when last they counted up the apes five years ago. This is great news for western lowland gorillas. If I'm not mistaken, I think it means they will receive a 63% increase in foreign aid over the next twenty years. They will also be invited to become at-large members of the United Nations. Representatives for the western lowland gorillas were engaged in grooming and were unavailable for comment.

Of course, the good news for the gorillas is as usual tempered by bad news for about half of the other primate species that seem to be checking out from Planet Earth at a highly worrisome rate. Forest destruction and human consumption (yup, that's what it says) are the primary culprits. Really, dudes, stop eating the monkeys. It just is not cool.


La Fashionista said...

And the aggressive, sometimes violent chimpanzees of Uganda, Sierra Leone, and Tanzania? As brutal extremists, what kind of foreign aid and UN membership are they given?


ATR said...


When somebody is trying to eat your ass, you have every right to be an aggressive extremist. I say the chimps can have whatever they want; however, the UN refuses to recognize them. What's new?

comoprozac said...

Simmer down. No one's eating your monkey.