I was sitting on the sofa the other day, trying to decide whether to get up and eat something or continuing sitting on my duff, when it dawned on me that I am going to be a sad old man (whenever I become an old man). I can only hope that Monkey is around as long as I, so she can keep my miserable backside moving. When she's not around, I sometimes can't get motivated to do anything but go to work (and that is hard going sometimes). I can't even be bothered to blog (yet, here I am...progress?).
It has rained alot this week, that always puts me in a foul mood. Mostly, however, I think I just get a bit blue and self-absorbed when she's not around. After all, she is an integral part of who I am. Without her, it's like a piece of me is not around. I know I sound like a Shel Silverstein poem (or...ugh...a Nick Sparks book), but, it's true.
Come home, Monkey.
I've been reading Atlas Shrugged. It's one of those "I always wanted to read it, but it's so goddamn long" kind of books. I really thought it would be dry and didactic, but, so far, it is pretty captivating. The characters are intriguing, and it has (even though it was written well after and is not quite so futuristic) this sort of Fritz Lang-quality that I like. Maybe I am way off base on that one, but, it's the best way I can describe it.
Also reading High Fidelity. The Nick Hornby book they made into a movie with John Cusack--you know, the one in which Jack Black got his "big break". I hate the movie for that. I mean, the Jack Black character in that movie fits the bill perfectly, but, has anyone noticed that that is all he can do? It's the same damn character in every movie. He's even the same character when he's playing with Tenacous D. Hello! That's not acting, that's just him being him. Can't wait to see him on Inside the Actor's Studio telling all the first years to "be in the moment." That's actor speak for "I don't know how to act." But I digress. The book is actually pretty good. It's British, so, it is far different, on some levels, than the film. Which is a good thing. The most appealing thing about this book is the main character's straight-on analysis of himself as a guy in a relationship (any semi-committed relationship). I am finding him highly entertaining. Is it a book that has a universal appeal? I don't know. Is it great literature? Nope. Am I digging it? I am.
For those keeping up (which I haven't been). I updated The Fingers of Time. I know it's been a few weeks, but I have been busy. I threw two posts on there. Three sections total. Enjoy, if you want.
1 comment:
The questions that arise with midlife are demanding, and I'm glad to hear you're reflecting on them even though they are difficult. Plus you're also in a huge transition, preparing to move, while you and Monkey are living apart. May you be gentle with yourself in this challenging time.
I'm in quite a lot of transition myself lately and am focusing on things that aren't so psychologically heavy since it is apparently my tendency to dwell there. So that means I'm doing things that are fun, light, and make me laugh. In that vein, P and I have been watching a lot of Arrested Development (we can re-watch episodes for like the eighth time and still discover funny nuances that are new to us in addition to the funny parts we know by heart). Also, tomorrow night we're going to see the Dismemberment Plan, who is doing a charity concert. I've never seen them live but figure this is a great chance to have fun and introduce the baby to wonderful LOUD music! What ever shall a sister wear?
Oh, and I also highly recommend shoe-shopping. :)
Whatever is comforting for you, I wish you well in your midlife and transition questions.
Anon AMVB
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