The Week That Was (With Congratulations)

You're gonna need an ocean
of calamine lotion.
You'll be scratchin' like a hound
the minute you start to mess around with
Poison Ivy.
--The Coasters, "Poison Ivy"

Back to the grind this week. It was a long one for me, for some reason. I felt like I was dragging all week long, but I made it to another weekend. Hooray for small successes. Seven more times and the school year is over. That is a pleasant and worrisome fact. Pleasant because the year will be over; worrisome because I have a lot to do in those seven weeks.

Monday consisted of shepherding nearly comatose students through the return from Spring Break. I have never seen my students so inactive. The combination of back to school and the switch to Daylight Saving Time (congratulations, Indiana; welcome to the club) left them unable to function. It improved as the day went on, but the early periods were brutal. Later that evening, I whacked my knee against Sports Editor's knee playing basketball. I think I got the brunt of the collision, since my knee is still swollen. Then, Monkey and I settled in to watch a crummy National Championship, which culminated in UCLA calling mercy at halftime and both teams agreeing to play a second half exhibition that had no bearing on the outcome of the game. Florida won, by the way. (A reserved congratulations to them).

Tuesday was exciting simply for the fact that Boring Election exercised her rights as a citizen of the state of Missouri and of the United States of America. Congratulations, Boring Election! As well, Monkey was presented with the Distinguished Dissertation Award from the MU Grad School. The ceremony was lame, but congratulations, Monkey! You are a superstar. In addition (as if that weren't enough), the Terps women's basketball team rallied from a ten point halftime deficit to defeat arch-nemesis Duke in overtime for the Women's NCAA Championship. Congratulations, Terps! Fear the Turtle!

Wednesday? Don't remember much.

Thursday was about the same as Wednesday, except with a lot of bagel deliveries. Monkey wants her money, people! You know who I'm talking to. Beyond that, the puppy got his stitches taken out. He was pretty good about it. The vet got eight of his fourteen stitches out right in the office with a bit of help from Monkey before Ripken got too skittish and she had to take him "into the back." I don't know what they did with him back there, but they got the stitches out. Congratulations, Ripken Ozark!

Friday was about the same as two weeks ago. School. Booche's. Fall asleep on the sofa while Alton Brown scrambled eggs. Aunt James entertained us with her cabaret routine of "Poison Ivy" (which are also the only two words she knows in the whole damn song), in sympathetic honor of Boring Election's scientifically-interesting early-season case of the plant-induced rash. Monkey tried to suggest remedies, such as ice, cold water, sticking the affected area in the freezer (only really works for limbs or head), and steroid cream. I am expecting Boring Election to challenge Barry Bonds for the Major League home run lead this season. We were also treated to the all-night presence of Capt. "Darts" Morgan, a rare, but becoming-more-common experience. Word on the street is he's sprung himself for all Friday nights in the future. Congratulations, Captain!


And now...wonderful, glorious weekend.