Dana Whipkey is Not Frank Mills

Back in my crash pad days, I lived in a little house on White Avenue in the Hamilton neighborhood of Baltimore City. I had lived in a second floor walk up on Hamilton Avenue, but had recently carted all of my stuff the two blocks to the new house in a van I had borrowed from my dad. You may have heard this before. It took forever. You would think it wouldn't take that long to move some cheap furniture two blocks, but, I guess, since we didn't have to go too far, we figured it would be okay to take several small loads. This logic did not pan out.

Eventually, we got everything moved, and sat on the back porch enjoying some pizza and beer. But that is not anywhere near what I came to tell you about.

I am imagining (most likely because it was true), that a fellow named Dana Whipkey was somehow involved in this move. He's a friend of mine, as well as a friend of the house's owner. She was moving in at the same time, having just bought the house and all, but, anyway....

At some point in the story (months later), Dana moved in, too, relocating after his roomies moved on to other haunts. He lived in the basement for a while. The three of us, Dana, Kimberley (the home owner), and myself, had quite a fine time together, if I recall. However, as all happy stories go, this one did not last forever. Dana soon chose to re-relocate to his old hometown in PA. As he packed up his things to go, he decided that he didn't want to bother moving some things. His bike was one of those things.

He was looking to sell his bike. I wasn't particularly looking to buy one, but I had just given mine to someone who needed it more than I (it was not a very good one). So, when Dana offered it to me for the ridiculously reasonable price of 40 bucks, we shook on an iron-clad deal.

Here it is, about thirteen years later, and I still have that bike. As a matter of fact it is my primary mode of transportation during the warmer months (hereof late). No doubt, I have gotten my forty dollars out of it.

Granted, that twenty-plus-year old bike is most likely not long for this world. I'll probably be looking at new bikes some time this summer, if the money shakes out (which is not a foregone conclusion). At any rate, I will keep pedaling my retro-80s aqua and yellow Iguana for the meantime.

Since those days, long ago, I have fallen out of touch with Mr. Whipkey, which is too bad. He was a funny SOB. I liked him alot. But, time and life marches on. If you know Dana, tell him I said hi.

And tell him that I hope he got as much out of that forty bucks as I got out of the bike.