Sunday, February 18, 2007

Quelques Choses, Peut-être Ils Doivent Au Séjour Caché (Some Things, Maybe They Ought To Stay Hidden)

Last night, Monkey and I had a tasty dinner of Indian food, then came home to watch a movie we had rented. We actually rented two movies, but knew that one would have to wait until this morning.

The movie we had selected to watch was a French film, Cache, or, as the translation on the DVD told us, Hidden. At the outset, this movie had several things working against it. The first being that it was French. With few exceptions, I just don't like French films. They generally have a languid quality that I do not like. In addition, I often feel like they don't make plot developments clear enough. That could be a cultural problem (or, possibly, an intelligence problem), but whatever it is, I don't like it. The second difficulty that this film had to overcome was the prescence of Juliet Binoche, the French Julia Roberts. The third thing was the belly full of curry that was literally trying to drag me into the Land of Nod.

Well, friends and neighbors, let me tell you that this movie was about the worst thing I have seen since Running with Scissors (and maybe even before that). The pace of this movie made all previous French films seem like The Fast and the Furious 2. It was evident from the opening shot (which lasted for ten minutes) of the dwelling of the protagonists, in which one bicyclist, one vehicle, and about four people passed in and out of the frame. Every scene was stuffed with silence and inactivity. For some this is art, verite, an integral element of the film's thematic arc. For me, it's just boring as baseball is for Jersey Girl.

The Indian food got the best of me on more than one occasion, but I couldn't tell if I missed anything or not. Needless to say, my high school-level knowledge of French does me no good when I am drifting off to sleep--I am subtitle dependent.

Oddly, Madame Binoche was pretty good in this film. She was about the most active character in the film, and she did a capital job. I kind of enjoyed her--go figure.

The bottom line here--avoid Cache, as a matter of fact, avoid French cinema, as a rule.

The other movie we watched this morning. Cowboy del Amor, a cute doc about a 60-year old former cowboy in New Mexico, who now makes his living setting up desperate gringos with Mexican women. It is as light-hearted an entertainment as documentary can be. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

And today, by the way, the sun is shining, and it feels like it's about 40 degrees out there. Beautiful!


Anonymous said...

Sometime in the future (the odds favor after the snow and ice melt), you will be sitting on your sofa and watching a baseball game. At the precise moment(s) of drama - just when you open your eyes and sit up a bit - little Amelie will yank the plug on your reception. You know how she is with payback, and I can't imagine she appreciates the dis on French cinema in light of her film being one of the best ever. I think she even would have been satisfied with a nod (and not the sleepyhead kind) acknowledging that her film was the exception to your rule.

I don't envy you, an avid watcher of dramatic sporting events, having vengeance exacted upon you by that fiesty creative Amelie.

You may want to try to appease her, and I would be happy to help you. Send me a delicious pie or Main Squeeze treats or shoes or something like that, and I'll talk to her. You know I'm always glad to help a brotha out.


ATR said...

My sista--

I did claim a few exceptions, the fims of Monsieur Jeunet among them, so I do not fear le petit Amelie. Besides, this warning of yours sounds merely like the rantings of an opportunistic fortune teller or Jimmy Swaggart--the Anon AMVB just angling for some tasty bakey treats.

Appeasement or apPIESment?

Word wybskfhn (on the west sy-eed).

Anonymous said...

Perhaps I was blinded to the stated exceptions by my need for apPIESment.

So it's a deal then! I can't wait for delectable baked treats to arrive. Woo hoo! This will give you something fun to do in the midst of your Presidents' Day catch-up school reading.

When shall I expect these fabulous pies made with love?



Anon AMVB, innocently missing the baked goods - never ever angling