Welcome to Hell

AN EXCESSIVE HEAT WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 7 PM CDT THURSDAY.

THE PROLONGED PERIOD OF DANGEROUS LEVELS OF HEAT AND HUMIDITY WILL CONTINUE THROUGH EARLY THURSDAY EVENING ACROSS THE ENTIRE AREA. SOME OF THE HOTTEST TEMPERATURES OF THIS SUMMER ARE EXPECTED OVER THE NEXT TWO DAYS...WITH HIGHS FROM 95 TO 100. THESE TEMPERATURES COMBINED WITH HIGH LEVELS OF HUMIDITY WILL RESULT IN HEAT INDEX VALUES OF 105 TO 115 DEGREES FROM THE LATE MORNING INTO THE EARLY EVENING HOURS.

It has been rather hot here lately (I hear it's been rather hot everywhere lately--I wonder if Al Gore had them do that for the release of his global warming documentary--he can do that, you know--after all, he did invent the Internet). It's to the point where I have not been outside for longer than ten minutes since about Saturday. It's really unpleasant. It's so hot, even the whistle pig doesn't come out. The forecast calls for 100 today and 102 tomorrow. In the words of Aunt James, "That's not right!"

The last softball game of the Spring season is tonight. Mercifully it's at 9pm, but it will still be 95, then. No championship for the Deadliners this Spring (the heat has little to do with it). We are gearing up to get them in the Fall, however. That season starts August 23, I think.

Stay cool, people.

Life is What Happens When You're Sitting Around Waiting for Something to Happen

One would think, after perusing the last dozen entries or so, that all this boy's life is about is hurtling himself across American roads at eighty miles an hour, racking up speeding tickets, eating turkey sandwiches, and taking pictures of his wife and others with half of his head in the foreground. This is not entirely true. Summer, this year, has been filled with few cares (where I am concerned), but much else is going on around me. Let me clue you in to a few of those.

To begin with, the most important theme for the last few weeks has been the Monkey's preparation for her EPPP test. I really have no idea what the acronym stands for (but I am pretty sure one of the Ps is "psychology" or "psychological" and I suspect that one of them may be "practice" or "professional", and the E might stand for "exam" or "examination"). At any rate, all the cool kids call it "E-triple-P." I like to call up Snoop Dogg every once in a while and call it the "E to the trizzy pizzy." He hates that. But I digress.

Whatever the acronym stands for, it is the liscensing exam for practicing psychology in the US of A. You can see where my conjectures about the letters may come from. The studying has been a frustrating endeavor for Monkey, thus far. By association, it has also been frustrating for me, but only vicariously. I have done my best to be positive and supportive in the following ways: no loud belching while Monkey is studying; all baseball is viewed on MUTE while Monkey is studying; limited "Hey, Monkey, listen to this" while reading the newspaper when Monkey is studying; no music while Monkey is studying (and thus, no dancing while Monkey is studying); no laughing and saying "Boy, I'm glad I don't have to take the E to the trizzy pizzy" while talking to Snoop Dogg when Monkey is studying; no talking to Snoop Dogg while Monkey is studying. In addition, I sometimes (recently) help by quizzing Monkey a little using her 1 million flash cards about childhood development and maternal depression and such, and asking her questions from practice tests she has taken already (as a reinforcement of her learning).

Some days, Monkey comes home and feels like she is progressing, and that she will probably pass the test. Other days, she comes home a little frustrated and worried that she will not pass the test. In either case, I try to be supportive by saying things like, "What do you want for dinner", or "That's a nice pair of socks you are wearing", or "Golly, it sure is hot, huh?".

In addition to that, I recently was extremely worried before our trip to Lincoln when I thought I had not paid a bill but was down to $0.12 in my checking account (okay, that's an exaggeration--it was $0.27). I went to the cable office (it was the damn cable bill--by the way MediaCom, it sure would be nice to watch the Tour de France this year, but no OLN...I'd trade it for the both the Sci-Fi Channel AND the Fox "News" Channel--I never watch them), credit card in hand, prepared to pay the bill. By the way, I didn't have the bill with me. I don't know if I lost it, or I never received it (oh, no, that never happens), but I didn't have it. So I get to the office and explain what is up to the woman at the counter, and it turns out that I had paid the bill, like two weeks prior! Silly me. I never pay the cable bill that early. What was I thinking? And look at the trouble it caused me. Well, I learned from that: never pay the cable bill ahead of time.

Now, as has been mentioned before, travel time is over. It's time to start focusing on the upcoming school year, but it's a slow transition. I told myself I was going to start yesterday, but I started reading The Da Vinci Code instead (I know, what have I been waiting for?). I'll probably finish that by dinner tonight. Then , I said I would begin today, but here I am at 11 o'clock chronicling my life so far. Maybe I will start today. Maybe I'll start tomorrow.

Maybe I'll make a turkey sandwich, grab the camera, hop in the Penguin, and drive somewhere. I just hope I don't get a speeding ticket.

At Rest

That's it, folks. I just washed the Penguin. No more traveling. Until September. But, for the summer, I am happily homebound, after being homeward bound just yesterday. The new car, purchased in February, has 9000 miles on it. Almost 5000 of those since Memorial Day Weekend. Baltimore last week(1970 round trip), Lincoln before that (700 round trip), Maine (airport drives (250 round trip)), Conroe, TX (1600 round trip).

Spent some time with my family this past week. I was unable to post obviously, but I survived the trip and I am back. Highlights included fishing with my dad (once legally at Loch Raven, once illegally at Dundee Creek (I told him that was tidal water, but he didn't believe me--oops!), seeing imported Costa Rican butterflies with my nephews, breakfasting with my cousin and with Jersey Girl (separate breakfasts), and shopping for Utz potato chips, scrapple, and Berger cookies at Giant and Mars to satisfy Monkey and my craving for things from Back East (I told her, "I had to go all the way to Mars for these freaking cookies!").

I will skip the descriptions and just throw some pics at you. All in all, it's good to be back home (and staying put for awhile).

View from the I-68E Maryland Welcome Center (Youghiogheny (Yok-i-gay-nee) River)

The Author and a breakfast companion (note the fashionista T-shirt) The author and the coolest 86 year old in the world

The nephews with the mother and grandmother (pointing at a turtle)

The author with his favorite two and a half year old

The author's favorite 15-month old

Summer Time Means Two-A-Days

I know I am not in the habit of posting twice in one day, but a recent comment from an old friend encouraged me to come up with my top ten driving songs. Finding ten to be a constrictive number, and having too many variables to consider, I instead came up with a virtual mix tape of what I would throw on a road trip compilation (if I wasn't taking fifty CDs with me, anyway--I know, I need an iPod that plugs into the car stereo--much better for traveling). My criteria (made up as I went along): twenty five songs, divided into two sides (imagine the old TDK 120 minute cassette tapes). Side One has been dubbed the "Speed" side, songs that make your foot a bit heavier, for when you need to make some time. Side Two has been dubbed the "Mettle" side (get it? Speed/Mettle), songs chosen because they are strong enough to withstand a weakly devised road theme.

Comments and/or your own lists are welcome!

Here goes:

Speed/Mettle: ATR's Summer 'o6 Road Trip Mix

Side One: Speed

Drain You--Nirvana
Dig My Grave--They Might Be Giants
Steve McQueen--Drive By Truckers
Inside Out--Eve 6
Rockaway Beach--Ramones
Bury Me With It--Modest Mouse
A Good Idea--Sugar
Head Like a Hole--Nine Inch Nails
Kool Thing--Sonic Youth
Bucket Head--Meat Puppets
Let It Be Me--Social Distortion

Side Two: Mettle

Friend of the Devil--Grateful Dead
Last Goodbye Blues--Joe Turner
Water Your Hands--Aloha
Go West--Liz Phair
Are You Ready For The Country?--Neil Young
It'll Be The Same Without You--The Mendoza Line
I Miss The Girl--Soul Coughing
Going Out West--Tom Waits
Departure--REM
Wheels--Freedy Johnston
Hard Luck Story--Whiskeytown
Borrow Your Girl--Bobby Bare, Jr. and the Young Criminals Starvation League
Someone Take the Wheel--The Replacements
If I Had A Boat--Lyle Lovett

Ain't No Moss On Me

If I was a road dog, baby,
and all of my songs were true,
I reckon I'd like my whiskey drinkin'
a whole lot more than I do
--Jimmy Buffett, "Big Rig"



Lincoln in the rear view mirror, we now set our sights on the Motherland. The Land of Pleasant Living. America in Miniature. The Old Line State. The Bay State. Perhaps the only state in the union that refers to the President of the United States as a "despot." That's right ladies and gentlemen, we're heading to Maryland in two short days.

Of course, when I say "we," I really mean "me," since neither Monkey nor Ripken is going with.

It's about a sixteen hour drive. Monkey and I have done it in one big jump before (maybe twice, even), and we've already done a thirteen plus hour drive to Conroe, TX, last month, but I just don't feel like pushing myself that hard on a solo flight. The plan is to drive to Columbus, OH, by Wednesday night, camp in Buckeye State Park, and then head in to Mob Town on Thursday PM. Two eight hour tours. I can handle that.

Lincoln, by the way, was a productive trip. My meeting with the department head was informative and encouraging. Monkey and I (guided by our gracious hosts on several walks about town) got a feel for real estate prices and desirable locations. We saw a few Lincoln sights. Of course, to me, the move is barely a blip on the Reality Radar. A year is (depending on how you look at it) a long way away. It will soon begin to loom larger in my forecast of the future, but for now, it is an amorphous thing. The bottom line on Lincoln so far: I can live there. It will take a while to get used to it, but I think it will be okay. At any rate, it will be different. And, of course, I will miss many people and things about where I live now. There is nothing to be done about that. But, again, it is down the road a piece.

I may have some connectivity in Charm City, so, updates are possible. I'll try to remember to bring the camera, too. I know AMVB likes the pictures!