Tuesday, February 17, 2009

In Others' Words

I have been away, my friends. In proximity, I have been no more distant than usual, I admit. In my heart, in my mind, however, I think I have been far, far away. What brings me to this place of being and not-being? If only I knew. But, here's what I have been thinking.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

This from William Wordsworth. I have been thinking that the world is too much with me. It's not an overly materialistic quality that is with me; it is not that "getting and spending" have laid my powers to waste. But, I am too much wrapped up in the matters of the world that matter to me, namely my job, and it is driving me to distraction. It is a familiar lament you have heard from me, but those several students collected in my mind, those ungraded assignments pooled in the corners of my stacks of "to do," those impending conferences penciled inevitably on my calendar seem to have a stranglehold on me right now. Too often Monkey has to ask if I am okay, as I stand by the stove pouring a cup of tea with a far off look on my face. In some ways it is just the price of doing business, but, in my more gloomily reflective moments, I wonder if I can pedal through these recurring swales of dread (for that is more than half what they are) for many more seasons.

Then again, maybe I just need it to be Spring, and fast!

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

This from HD Thoreau. Why this metaphysical crisis? [He shrugs.] Does he think there is something else out there for him to be doing? [He yawns.] Is there something that has been brewing somewhere in his creative soul? Something that he feels all mankind needs to hear or see or read in order to complete their lives? [He blinks.] Is there a song in there that has yet to be sung? [He smiles.] Why is he writing about himself in the third person? [He exits.]

++++++++++

I thought to regale you last week with the line up of films Monkey and I will be seeing at CoMo's T/F at the end of the month, but I didn't. And I thought I'd give you an hour by hour recap of my snow day on Friday, but I didn't. Then I thought I'd make a big deal out of the start of Spring Training, but no. This is what you get. I hope it was worth the wait.

Steering a course for clearer skies ahead.

3 comments:

Boring Election said...

It's always worth the wait.

Hope I get to see you two for more than 3 fleeting moments in the Box Office this year!!!!

Hang in - spring will be here soon.

La Fashionista said...

Of course I missed you and wondered what was happening. Of course this is more than worth the wait.

These are important questions. Indeed, these are questions of soul, that also indicate that you are not "dead inside" and in fact will probably lead you toward living more fully.

May you love and honor the questions.

Love from me,

Anon AMVB

Jami said...

That was both deep and wide Anthony! Pencil me in sometime next weekend but do remember I live in the 65109 area code now so I'm a bit less spontaneous. And another thing....July 11th - save the date!