I've Heard That Song Before

Well, friends and neighbors, it's that time of year, again. That time when I complain about having to go to so many mandated workshops and seminars that tell me things I already know. Today, I had to attend a workshop for second year teachers, since, in this district, I am entering my second year. So, we spent the day going over a great deal of very useful information...for SECOND YEAR TEACHERS. I am not a second year teacher. Hell, I have a Master's degree. I hope I know how to set objectives and use good questioning strategies.

Of course, as a silver lining searcher, I'll tell you that it is always good to be reminded of the best practices involved in doing your job, no matter how basic. After all, Ted Williams didn't hit .344 lifetime with 521 home runs by forgetting about the basics of hitting. I am sure he practiced the rudiments of his craft more than anyone, even after he hit .406 in 1941. Mastering the basics is the first step to becoming a master.

I just wish I didn't have to spend all day on the last Friday before we went back to work, twisting in my chair over boredom. On the plus side, I knew the presenters, they were engaging and entertaining, and we got out an hour early!

In other news, the Great Biking Experiment of 2008 has begun. I know that I have vowed to bike to work every year since I started this blog, but, this is the year that it sticks. I biked to basketball on Wednesday evening, I biked to school and the grocery store on Thursday, and I biked to my workshop today. I haven't driven my car for three days, and Paul Dorn has become my new guru! The mornings have been cool, making for a pleasant ride, and I have figured out that I can make it to work in about twenty minutes with a modicum of effort. I can arrive to work only ten minutes later than had I driven, and, if I don't pedal like a banshee, I am not a funked-up mess. So, I've always heard that after three days, something becomes a habit. Let's hope so.

My Genetically Modified Cow Can Kick Your Genetically Modified Cow's Ass!

It says here that global destroyer Monsanto is giving up the pussy milk trade (as in: milk with puss in it, not...oh, never mind). It seems that they are tired of fighting over semantics with farmers and milk producers who don't think it is a good idea to alter the natural hormonal make up of dairy cows in order to "curb global warming by requiring fewer dairy cows." If that ain't slapping lipstick on a pig, I don't know what is.

Unfortunately, the profit-driven yahoos at Monsanto are still going full-steam ahead in the genetically modified seed business. It's only a matter of time before the doodoo hits the fan with this one, too. It is a common event to have some crop or tree or plant be attacked by the latest disease or bug. Most often, these epidemics (or pandemics) are the result of human behaviors, a poor schedule of crop rotation, an accidental introduction of a pest through some other human-devised plan, what have you. Is it not a too-far-fetched possibility that genetic modification of the things we eat will result in either further decimation of "normal" crops, or some more detrimental effect on the consumers of genetically modified product (be they human or animal).

I guess I am just old fashioned, but, I prefer a smaller tomato with a couple of spots on it that was grown by me (or someone I know) to a plump, seemingly perfect creation of some ag-scientist whose boss just wants to see the company stock go up.

Of course, it might be that that stock just ain't gonna go up. It says here that maybe that genetically modified stuff ain't all it's cracked up to be. Gee, that's too bad.

Evidence to Support Saving the Monkeys (and A Small Bit of Bird Business)

Okay, so, I found a link to this on kottke.org: basically, photos of people doing stupid things. I post the link here for two reasons.

First, if you click on the link for photo #2, you discover this act of stupidity takes place in Hammond, IN, a little town just southeast of Chicago, IL, and formerly the home of Phil Smidt's, one of the best restaurants I have ever patronized. Unfortunately, they closed last October after almost 100 years of fried lake perch and frog legs. Sad. Otherwise, I would have recommended a visit. We're running out of time for road trips (but, we'll watch for railroad crossings, I promise)!

Second, and most importantly, these stupid people doing stupid things obviously support the worldwide halt to consumption of monkeys. These people obviously eat monkeys, and they are obviously stupid. How do I know they are stupid? Well, look at what they are doing (especially the ones with the extension cord in the pool): they are stupid. How do I know they eat monkeys? Well, here is where my expert training as a logician serves me best.

I do not eat monkeys. I am not in the pictures of people doing stupid things. The people in the pictures are doing stupid things, UNLIKE ME. The people in the pictures are unlike me, ERGO (how ya like that?) they do not NOT eat monkeys. Thus, they eat monkeys AND thus, eating monkeys (either) makes you stupid or is stupid.

Stop eating monkeys, stupid people!

On an unrelated note, check out Shearwater's Jonathan Meiburg in Scientific American. Isn't this why people want to be rock 'n' roll stars? To get into august publications like Scientific American?

Gorillas Evade Census Takers, But Monkeys Are Not So Lucky

Somehow, 125,000 western lowland gorillas evaded census takers for the International Union for Conservation when last they counted up the apes five years ago. This is great news for western lowland gorillas. If I'm not mistaken, I think it means they will receive a 63% increase in foreign aid over the next twenty years. They will also be invited to become at-large members of the United Nations. Representatives for the western lowland gorillas were engaged in grooming and were unavailable for comment.

Of course, the good news for the gorillas is as usual tempered by bad news for about half of the other primate species that seem to be checking out from Planet Earth at a highly worrisome rate. Forest destruction and human consumption (yup, that's what it says) are the primary culprits. Really, dudes, stop eating the monkeys. It just is not cool.

The Inexorable March of Time

On this past Friday, a dreadfully awaited email appeared in my inbox from my department head informing all that we had 13 days left before we had to get back to work. This was a horrific moment, but, we all knew it was coming. The summer is coming to an end.

I've tried to do some work over the course of the past several weeks. Immediately after our return from Italy, I wrote half of a required six-plus-page document that I need to have finished before the end of first semester. During those couple of weeks, I also did some reflecting on the previous year, and considered some changes to put into effect this coming semester, but, there is, as always, much that I wished to do that I have not. Thus, I will attempt to get some things squared away in the next week.

I have a workshop that I am required to attend as a second year teacher in the district (even though I am NOT a second year teacher, but, whatever) on Friday, Then, it's a few free days until the thirteenth. Like most school years, I look forward to getting started, meeting the new kiddos, teaching and learning; but, I really had an awesome summer, and I sort of don't want it to end. That feeling is stronger this year than ever before. I hope next summer is as awesome, but, it has a lot to live up to.

While I am considering the start of a new school year, there are some other things happening in the next few weeks that I may be looking forward to with a little less sadness. In short, three up coming area shows that I have circled on my calendar.

The first, a blast from the past, the BoDeans (w/Ha Ha Tonka) come to Omaha on Sunday. The odds of my actually going to this show are slim, but, it's an intriguing show. I had no idea these guys were still together until I read about this show. They'd been broken up for ten years before they got back together to record a new album, Resolution (none of which I've heard). Roots-style rock and roll since 1986, I imagine the new stuff is just as BoDeansian as the old stuff. Again, intriguing from a nostalgia point of view, but, I am not committed.

The second, on September 10, is Centro-matic and Broken West, also in Omaha. This is a must-see for me, since I missed Centro-matic last time they were in Lincoln (oddly enough, on August 10). I am not a huge Broken West fan. They are okay, but Centro-matic? I love those guys. I think Will Johnson is an awesome songwriter--His solo stuff is great, too . And I am not going to talk myself out of this show (which I sometimes do) just because it's a weekday or because there is another show that must be seen in Omaha that Saturday, as....

Okkervil River comes to Slowdown. I have seen this band three times in the last few years, and each time I see them is better than the time before. My last experience with them, at the Waiting Room in Omaha last Fall will be hard to exceed, but, I look forward to Will and the boys giving it their best. (By the way, I think Will Sheff is an excellent songwriter, too. Does it have something to do with the name Will?)

As always, anyone willing to make the trek has a place to stay here in Cornopolis. We'll leave a light on for you.